uninspired sketches

here are some lameass sketches which shows just about how uninspired i am at the moment. i feel artistically fucking frustrated and it’s pissing me off. i cant seem to draw anything, and when i do it looks the same anyway. nothing inspires me anymore, not music, not other art, not anything. my whole mood towards everything is cynical and bland and i feel like i am just sitting in a zone staring into space with nothing in my mind but a big fucking black hole that is threatening to swallow me whole.

i dont know what brought this on, and more importantly i feel i cant stop it. (well admittedly I do kind of know what brought this on but lets not go into that shall we). the other day i did have an inspiring moment when it was raining and i was listening to patrick wolf and i managed to produce the bird woman sketch thing above but now im staring at it and i dont know what to do with it next. it’s like my brain wants to finish it but my hand is saying ‘fuck off im not doing anything for you, you wasteful piece’. and my brain just shrugs and doesnt care either way.

anyway. i’m currently over everything. or maybe i’m not. maybe that’s half the problem. maybe.

♥   now my feet don’t touch the ground

09

STRANGE BIRD

is coming…

So! It appears that some of you are still reading, and to that I say hello lovelies! At the moment I feel inspired! (not inspired enough to get off the computer and create haha). There are so many amazing creative people in the world that they inspire me and I want to feed off their creativity, not in a sucky leech way but in a lovemepleasedonteverstopcreatingbecauseyouareamazing! way!

Music of the year for 2008 (that maybe wasnt produced in 08 but was nevertheless enjoyed by me, and because I am slow on the catch up okay, there’s too much music and not enough days in the year to enjoy it all!)

- Bloc Party – Intimacy. Do not need an introduction! had the delight of seeing them live, one of the most amazing experiences ever, imagine ‘Ares’ + lasers + Kele dancing like a madman = a thing of eternal monumentalness haha
- The Dawn Collective – Save A Place For Us The Dawn Collective! has one of the most amazing songs I’ve ever heard – Art of Longevity and are amazing amazing live
- IAMX – The Alternative IAMX – read his blog it is full of beautiful revelations, it really amazes me how musicians are so eloquent in expression, okay and kind of makes me jealous too
- Lightspeed Champion – Falling Off The Lavender Bridge Come on! Keep up!
- Interpol – Our Love To Admire
- The Knife – Silent Shout
- Arcade Fire – Neon Bible
- Birds Of Tokyo – Universes
- British India – Thieves
- The Panics – Cruel Guards
- Wombats – A Guide To Love Loss & Desperation

Artists I am excited to hear more:
- Patrick Wolf – Battles – Prepare for battle! The fourth studio album! Kind of amazing for someone whos only 25.
If you don’t visit his site I shall smite you down and do not nice things because his music is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard in my life: Official Patrick Wolf
- Foals
- Mystery Jets
- Sigur Ros

Go and seek now and discover!

Any suggestions (by which I mean musical not medicinal!) Comments? Apples? Rotten tomatoes or monkeys? I prefer the purple ones for your information. Haha.

Currently listening: Antidotes By Foals Release date: 2008-04-08

listening to: think of england – iamx
watching: Wallace & Gromit
thinking: far too much

urghhh. I feel kind of annoyed and tired. why write a blog about it, tell someone who cares hey.
I have been working on a series of canvases featuring the members of Bloc Party (all hail!), today I finished them but I feel that the last one I did is absolute crap, so crap in fact I’m not going to post it because it’s embarrassing. I thought your artistic skills were meant to improve with age/more practise, appears not. I just cant get the face right and Ive analysed it so much that its becoming ridiculous I can’t get it right no matter how hard I try, I know I know you’re meant to leave it and not look at it and then come back and I know that works on occassion but I want to fix it right now! I’m pissed because they didnt turn out as good as I thought they would as good as they looked in my mind and I wonder if thats a problem that a lot of creative types have and if so how can we ever really be satisfied? (I figure there should be a full stop there somewhere! But as I learnt in my creative writing days you can write the way you want break the rules and dont use punctuation!)

Anyway, back to what I was on about. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and it’s really getting to me, i’m going through a mid life art crisis and feel like sometimes giving up but if i did that i’d certainly have nothing and be nothing and i cant stay away from it for long because it’s my love i suppose. and how I hate it too.

another thing, everything i do seem to look the same and i know thats what people call ’style’ (as milton glaser said, there is no such thing as style!) that defines who you are as an artist and where you are headed in but dont you people feel so restricted by your style! I know I am but I cant change the way I do things and that annoys me too because I want to be different and try different things but I just let my work guide me into the same place it does all the time. sometimes i feel that place is nowhere.

sometimes i feel like im going in circles

sometimes i feel like pulling my hair out